Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Spotted on Pinterest:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Trending via Threads:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

16 shares on Discord this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

87 shares on Discord this month:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Just landed via WeChat:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Spotted on Telegram:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

Just shared via X:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Trending via Messenger:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

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