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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Breaking via Facebook:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Just shared via TikTok:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Seen just now on Slack:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Trending via Messenger:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Funny tinnitus quotes

New funny tinnitus quotes 👇

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

1 day ago

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All funny tinnitus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

78 shares on X this month:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Just landed via WeChat:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Going viral on WeChat:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

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Funny tinnitus quotes

New funny tinnitus quotes 👇

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

All funny tinnitus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨