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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Going viral on WeChat:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Just landed via Threads:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Just shared via Slack:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Just landed via YouTube:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Reported on Discord:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Reported on Facebook:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Spotted on Twitch:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Going viral on Threads:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Shared recently on X:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Seen just now on Threads:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

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