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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Going viral on Threads:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Just shared via Twitch:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Seen just now on Slack:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Just landed via YouTube:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Trending via Snapchat:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Funny World War I quotes

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All funny World War I quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

15 shares on X this month:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

40 shares on Threads this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Just shared via Threads:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Just shared via Telegram:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Live now on Facebook:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Spotted on WeChat:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

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