Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

47 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Live now on Threads:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Just landed via WeChat:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

6 months ago

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't that the ultimate modern-day parental power move? 💪🏼📹 "Oh hey there kids, just letting you know I'm watching 👀… and so are the neighbors 🏡😂. Behave yourselves or the Ring camera might magically start playing 'The Mysterious Stranger' theme song 🎵💀. Just kidding… maybe. 😏"

camera, freak, freak out, front, funny parenting, home, home security, kids, parenting, ring, Ring camera, security, surveillance, yell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

47 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Spotted on Discord:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Going viral on Discord:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Spotted on Twitch:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Making waves on X:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Just landed via Slack:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Live now on Snapchat:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴