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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Just shared via Slack:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Going viral on Telegram:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Breaking via Slack:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Going bananas on YouTube:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Just landed via Messenger:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

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Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.
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Commentary:
Looks like your diagnosis is in: you've got a case of political fever! 🤒🗳️ Remember to take your daily dose of democracy and avoid election stress. Who knew that the best cure for this condition is simply turning off the news? 😄 #SymptomsOfPolitics

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

31 shares on X this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

62 shares on Slack this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

46 shares on X this month:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Live now on Slack:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Spotted on WeChat:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

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