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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Just shared via Discord:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Shared recently on Slack:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's experiencing the 'lettuce rage' syndrome! 🥗😂 Don't worry, you can always sneak in a burger for dessert! 🍔😉"

angry, diet, food, food humor, humor, i, night, salad, third, third night, vegan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

1 month ago
frustration, hell, humor, IKEA, joke, Monday, product, purchase, sarcasm, week
If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

1 month ago
anxiety, distraction, feeling, geopolitics, global, humor, information, internet, little, media, much, phone, relief, remember, scroll, scrolling, smartphone, spend, state, stress, stress relief, time
I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

1 month ago
beverage, coffee, humor, morning, neighbor, strong, wake
Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

1 month ago
contemplate, existence, live, mindfulness, miracle, nature, nostalgia, nothing, oh, relaxation, seashore, simpler, simpler time, sit, time, times
Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

1 month ago
clear, clear signals, communication, confusion, dating, even, humor, i, me, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signals, please, relationships, send, signals, understand
Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

4 weeks ago
casual, humor, pants, place, relaxation, responsibility, Sunday

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Just landed via Reddit:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Going viral on Telegram:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Live now on Messenger:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Trending via YouTube:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Being a little freak is my love language.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

I’m addicted to placebos.

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

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Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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