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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,934

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I run a parody bank account.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Spotted on Instagram:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Just shared via Facebook:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Live now on Telegram:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Sounds like someone really gummed up their plans! 🦷😄 Next time, don't leave your smile behind!"

back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a day where it all works out.

2 months ago
day, humor, invent, invention, life, luck, optimism, should, where, wish, works
We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

1 month ago
attention, call, giving, humor, just, naming, needy, storm, storms, wind
Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

5 months ago
bite, curiosity, humor, i, inner, inner thigh, just, noise, noises, science, should, someone, thigh, type
Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

15 hours ago
adolescence, change, experience, growth, hair, humor, puberty
We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

1 month ago
billionaire, current, current event, event, humor, irony, joke, satire, submarine
I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

1 month ago
advice, going, good, harder, humor, i, lawyer, need, smarter, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Breaking via Telegram:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Making waves on Facebook:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Making waves on TikTok:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Making waves on Facebook:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Trending via Reddit:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

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Activity Log ✨

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

They should invent a day where it all works out.

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

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Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent a day where it all works out.

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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