Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Seen just now on YouTube:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Going viral on Telegram:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Seen just now on Messenger:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Live now on Instagram:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Going viral on Instagram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

0
Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like someone really gummed up their plans! 🦷😄 Next time, don't leave your smile behind!"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

90 shares on Reddit this month:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Making waves on Messenger:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Shared recently on Slack:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Just shared via TikTok:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Seen just now on Discord:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Seen just now on Threads:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Trending via Pinterest:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴