Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Spotted on Instagram:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Spotted on Reddit:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Shared recently on Slack:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Live now on X:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like someone really gummed up their plans! 🦷😄 Next time, don't leave your smile behind!"

back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

0

5 months ago

acceptable, angry, ball, choose, everyone, fast, fast internet, gone, hot, humor, i, internet, night, nocturnal, norms, quiet, shut, silence, sky, social, social norms, socially, sun, understand, why
Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

0

2 months ago

collapse, crisis, existential, existential crisis, humor, know, pairing, satire, societal, societal collapse, well, wine
If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

0

2 months ago

being, bladder, feel, frustration, great, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, irony, pissed, thing
I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

0

2 months ago

advertising, alcohol, company, customers, drunk, drunk person, humor, i, irony, marketing, never, person, seen, shame
Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

0

2 months ago

appointment, doctor, early, hour, humor, irony, late, never, should, tell, time, waiting
Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, body, changes, growing, hair, humor, life, losing, means, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

23 shares on X this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

21 shares on Slack this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Going viral on X:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Breaking via X:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Live now on Discord:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Just landed via Reddit:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Just landed via TikTok:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨