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Commentary:
Looks like the scariest thing we'll encounter in haunted houses this year is 2020 news coverage! 👻🏚️ Get ready for jump scares and breaking news alerts! 😱📰

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

2 months ago

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Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

2 months ago

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Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

6 months ago

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If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

2 months ago

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Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

6 months ago

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Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

6 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m running out of people I like.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

29 shares on Slack this month:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

88 shares on X this month:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Shared recently on X:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Live now on Messenger:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Trending via TikTok:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Just landed via Messenger:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨