Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Live now on Slack:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Spotted on YouTube:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Shared recently on Slack:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Just shared via X:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Just landed via Threads:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Trending via Reddit:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote highlighting a toddler's fierce reaction to nose wiping.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the epic battle of wills between a tiny tyrant and a well-meaning parent! 😂👶🤧 It's a scene straight out of a dramatic soap opera – "As The Snot Flows"! Who will emerge victorious – the fearless mucus-wielder or the resolute nose wiper? Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of "The Neverending Nose-Wipe"! 💪🏼👃🏼

child, frustration, fury, getting, hell, humor, nose, parenting, toddler, wipe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been a main character since birth.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Trending via Messenger:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Spotted on Telegram:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Making waves on Facebook:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Trending via Slack:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴