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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Just landed via Reddit:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Just landed via Slack:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Going bananas on Threads:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Shared recently on Discord:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

1 month ago

Humorous quote highlighting a toddler's fierce reaction to nose wiping.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the epic battle of wills between a tiny tyrant and a well-meaning parent! 😂👶🤧 It's a scene straight out of a dramatic soap opera – "As The Snot Flows"! Who will emerge victorious – the fearless mucus-wielder or the resolute nose wiper? Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of "The Neverending Nose-Wipe"! 💪🏼👃🏼

child, frustration, fury, getting, hell, humor, nose, parenting, toddler, wipe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

58 shares on X this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

49 shares on Slack this month:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Trending via Messenger:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Breaking via YouTube:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

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