I am thick and tired.

I am thick and tired.

Commentary:
“Thick and tired… sounds like a great excuse to skip leg day at the gym! 🍔💤 Who needs muscles when you can have extra fries and naps instead? 😄”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew job satisfaction could be achieved in just one simple phone call? 📞🤒 Just don’t forget to turn off your webcam during those virtual meetings! 😜💻 #WorkLifeBalance”

  • My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

    Commentary:
    Sounds like your husband has mastered the art of movie selection based on his impeccable sleeping record! 🎥😴 Maybe he should start a review blog… or a nap blog! 💤😆

  • There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

    Commentary:
    Watch out! 👻💃 Don’t be surprised if you suddenly feel the floor moving to the rhythm of some spectral breakdancing moves! 😂 Who knew ghosts had such killer dance skills? Keep an eye out for any floating cardboard boxes and invisible boomboxes! 🕺🎶 #GhostlyGrooves

  • I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

    Commentary:
    If only we could live the carefree moose life 🦌🌿 Watch out for those cars, they never see us coming 😉🚗 #MooseGoals

  • My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your phone is ready to submit its entry to the Sundance Film Festival! 📱🎥🎬 Who knew your purse has all the drama, suspense, and mystery of a blockbuster hit?! Perhaps it’s time to start charging it director royalties! 🤣 #PurseLifeDocumentary

  • When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like your wife takes ‘packing light’ to a whole new level! 🧳🏠 When she says ‘going on a trip’, she means business! 😅 #WifeGoals”