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Commentary:
Oh, so your smoke detector moonlights as a critic, huh? 🚨👨‍🍳 Must be giving those Gordon Ramsay vibes with all that yelling! 🔥😂 Looks like your cooking really has a flair for the dramatic! 🤣🔥 #KitchenDrama

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

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2 months ago

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This Monday has Monday written all over it.

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2 months ago

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Later is the best time to do anything.

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2 months ago

best, best time, humor, later, management, procrastination, time, time management
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

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2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply
Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

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2 months ago

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In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

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1 month ago

advice, degree, education, humor, ignore, ignore love, important, love, master’s degree, Masters, priorities, pursue, twenty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

23 shares on Discord this month:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Shared recently on X:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Just shared via Slack:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Going viral on YouTube:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Breaking via TikTok:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Making waves on Messenger:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Later is the best time to do anything.

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨