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"Who needs humans when you've got a cat who completely gets you 😺🤣 Relationship status: Meowing buddies for life! 🐱 #CatConversations"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

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2 months ago

amazing, awkward, awkward situation, breaks, employees, fix, humor, introvert, machine, self-checkout, situation, technology, wait
Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

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2 months ago

bedtime, book, boring, boring book, distraction, humor, interest, interesting, irony, most, reading, sleep, tried
Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

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2 months ago

billions, care, humor, loneliness, moment, perspective, planet, someone
Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

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2 months ago

affinity, bin, both, care, comparison, dirty, exploring, humor, parenting, puppy, smelly, toddler, trash
My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

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2 months ago

advice, communication, counseling, couples, couples counseling, girlfriend, humor, i, knows, relationship, should, therapist, therapy, try, wrong
A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

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2 months ago

app, cooky, Crumble, dating, dating app, dessert, dessert dating, food, food love, funny idea, humor, idea, love, people, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Slack this month:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

51 shares on Threads this month:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Making waves on X:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Just landed via YouTube:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Just landed via TikTok:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Breaking via Pinterest:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Trending via Instagram:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Seen just now on X:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨