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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Trending via Discord:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Making waves on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Breaking via Threads:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Just landed via Facebook:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Shared recently on X:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs humans when you've got a cat who completely gets you 😺🤣 Relationship status: Meowing buddies for life! 🐱 #CatConversations"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My life coach traded me.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up alive again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Trending via Telegram:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Live now on Messenger:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Breaking via Facebook:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

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