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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Trending via Pinterest:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Spotted on Telegram:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Just landed via Discord:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Witty text about golf highlighting its relaxed, minimal effort approach in a playful way.
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Commentary:
"Ah, golf, where mastering the art of doing the least wins you the game! It's like the Olympics for lazy perfectionists. 🏌️‍♂️⛳️ #LessIsMore"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

81 shares on Slack this month:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone is getting idioter.

10 shares on Slack this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Going bananas on WeChat:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Going bananas on Discord:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Going viral on Threads:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

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