Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🚪😂 "I don’t need everything handed to me on a silver platter, just slide it through the door like a stealthy delivery ninja. Bonus points if you can ring the doorbell without waking the cat! 😜🐱"

convenience, delivery, door, everything, expectation, humor, i, irony, just, laziness, me, outside

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

0

2 months ago

20, am, anything, cancellation, day, excited, excitement, extra, extra time, finding, free, getting, ground, humor, i, joy, life, management, meeting, minutes, penny, small, small joy, someone, time, time management, unexpected, unexpected free time, work, work life
Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

0

4 months ago

35mm, 35mm film, camera, candid, film, film camera, girl, girls, humor, only, photograph, photography, thing, want
Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

0

2 months ago

again, blink, calendar, every, frustration, humor, i, live, loop, Monday, monotony, repetition, routine, time, time loop, weekly, weekly routine
The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

0

2 months ago

chill, future, history, needs, nonsense, semester, teacher, world
Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

0

2 months ago

activity, downloading, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, music, right, soundtrack, syncing, technology, Titanic
“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

0

2 months ago

asked, ChatGPT, conversation, humor, i, mom, okay, question, relatability, technology, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

39 shares on TikTok this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

48 shares on Discord this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just shared via WeChat:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Making waves on WeChat:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Just landed via Messenger:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨