Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.
  • My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.
  • I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.
  • I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.
  • Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.
  • Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.