Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.
  • I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.
  • I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?
  • No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
  • Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.
  • Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.