Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.
  • I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.
  • Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.
  • How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.
  • I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.
  • Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.