I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

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Coffee is just goth water.

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Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

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You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

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I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

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My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

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“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m running out of people I like.

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A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

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I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

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All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.