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Well said! Who needs a thick skin when you can just trim back those prickly thorns, right? Maybe we should send a memo to Mother Nature to work on her landscaping skills! 😉🌿 #ThornsBeGone

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

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5 months ago

80s, 80s movie, back, decade, future, humor, movie, nostalgia, past, time, time travel, today, travel
I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

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2 months ago

airline, choice, choices, entertainment, humor, i, in-flight, in-flight movie, movie, nostalgia, remember, travel, watch
Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

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2 months ago

always, boss, employee, good, hard, humor, i, me, wit, workplace
When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

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2 months ago

assumption, cheese, enriching, food, found, humor, i, life, lifestyle, people, talk
Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

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2 months ago

arm, arm wrestling, bonding, contact, eye, eye contact, eyes, hands, hold, humor, invention, male, male bonding, men, others, playful, romance, wrestling
Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

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1 month ago

carrying, energy, God, humor, i, language, meaning, means, meant, misunderstanding, oh, slang, thought, unc, uncle, uncool, weird, word, word meaning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

10 shares on Threads this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

27 shares on X this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

99 shares on X this month:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Just shared via X:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Just shared via Telegram:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Just shared via Slack:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Going viral on Threads:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Making waves on YouTube:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Shared recently on Threads:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨