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Well said! Who needs a thick skin when you can just trim back those prickly thorns, right? Maybe we should send a memo to Mother Nature to work on her landscaping skills! 😉🌿 #ThornsBeGone

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world

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Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

1 month ago
better, big, Big Mac sauce, bread, cheese, cooking, food, humor, joke, mac, meal, meat, salad, sauce, taste
Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

1 month ago
alive, dead, hamster, hear, humor, observation, people, talking, think, thinking, turning, wheel, yourself
The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

1 month ago
disaster, great, humor, iceberg, joke, just, lesson, lot, tip, Titanic, trouble, whole, why
I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

1 month ago
bad, bad boy, boy, boys, confidence, everything, humor, i, relationship, self-deprecation, well
Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

1 month ago
$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch
I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

1 month ago
appearance, clothing, confusion, disguise, dressed, easily, grandmother, guy, humor, i, irony, me, sheep, spot, wolf

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

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I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

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I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

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Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

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If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

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My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

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Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

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Shared recently on Discord:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Spotted on Messenger:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Trending via Facebook:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Just shared via Discord:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Breaking via Telegram:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

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Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

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I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

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Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

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I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

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Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

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