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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,857

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Going viral on Discord:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Live now on WeChat:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Trending via Messenger:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Seen just now on Threads:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget #RelationshipGoals, I want #NemesisGoals! Who knew arch enemies could be this exciting? 😂💥🤜🤛"

care, conversation, funny conversation, humor, i, me, meeting, nemesis, partner, relationship, rivalry, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

2 months ago

around, baby, baby names, etiquette, humor, name, names, parenting, pregnant, pregnant woman, say, social, social etiquette, used, watch, watch what you say, woman, women
Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

2 months ago

absurdity, cake, existential, food, humor, i, imagine, know, nothingness, rice, rice cake, still, taste, thanks
I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

1 month ago

always, bad, bad connection, board, board game, card, card game, connection, explain, explanation, game, head, humor, i, me, misunderstanding, someone
Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

1 month ago

bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying
Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

2 months ago

body, brain, everyday, exercise, fitness, humor, i, just, much, needs, running, think, workout
It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

2 months ago

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Onion rings? I’m answering.

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

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I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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