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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Just shared via Reddit:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Making waves on TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Just shared via Discord:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Forget #RelationshipGoals, I want #NemesisGoals! Who knew arch enemies could be this exciting? 😂💥🤜🤛"

care, conversation, funny conversation, humor, i, me, meeting, nemesis, partner, relationship, rivalry, tell

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

88 shares on Threads this month:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

83 shares on Discord this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Spotted on YouTube:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Making waves on Reddit:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Shared recently on X:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Going bananas on Discord:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨