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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Shared recently on Slack:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Spotted on Threads:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Shared recently on Discord:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget #RelationshipGoals, I want #NemesisGoals! Who knew arch enemies could be this exciting? 😂💥🤜🤛"

care, conversation, funny conversation, humor, i, me, meeting, nemesis, partner, relationship, rivalry, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

2 months ago
able, back, bed, getting, humor, i, knowing, laziness, morning, motivation, sleep
Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

1 month ago
choice, communication, couple, decision, dinner, food, help, humor, husband, i, relationship, turn
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

4 months ago
am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want
I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

1 month ago
bed, commute, distance, frustration, humor, i, longing, miss, sleep, where, why, work
Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

1 month ago
always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

1 month ago
action, day, every, Facebook, fix, humor, media, social, social media, stupid, watch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Live now on Slack:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Spotted on Reddit:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Just shared via WeChat:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Just landed via YouTube:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

You should be able to call in sad to work.

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

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I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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