Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Just landed via X:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Just shared via WeChat:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Spotted on Pinterest:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget #RelationshipGoals, I want #NemesisGoals! Who knew arch enemies could be this exciting? 😂💥🤜🤛"

care, conversation, funny conversation, humor, i, me, meeting, nemesis, partner, relationship, rivalry, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

2 months ago

annoyance, car, cars, disguise, drop, free, front, frustration, hate, humor, i, joke, parking, pull, small, small car, soon
“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

3 months ago

communication, even, here, humor, introvert, personality, presence, quiet, sarcasm, why
Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, always, coming, extended, humor, humor about aging, know, life, life perspective, Monday, old, old age, perspective, retirement, weekend
The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

2 months ago

adventure, birth, born, bungee, bungee jump, ever, experience, humor, i, jump, jumping, life, life experience, risk
Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

6 months ago

box, came, electronic, electronics, humor, men, question, still, storage, why
Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

2 months ago

countryside, england, everywhere, humor, just, rural, rural England, setting, Spider-Man, superhero, transportation, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

53 shares on Discord this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Spotted on Threads:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Just landed via Threads:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Just shared via TikTok:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Just landed via TikTok:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨