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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Spotted on Instagram:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Seen just now on Slack:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Spotted on Facebook:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Funny quote about neighborly disputes, highlighting humorous wish for clearer fight sounds.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs reality TV when you have neighbors providing front row seats to their drama? 🍿🎭 Maybe invest in some theater classes instead of couple's therapy? 🤭🎬 #neighborlyentertainment"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

73 shares on X this month:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Shared recently on Discord:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Trending via Threads:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Trending via Discord:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Just shared via Instagram:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

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