Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.
  • I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.
  • I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.
  • I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.
  • I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.
  • “Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.