Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Trending via Instagram:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

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I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking a stroll through the woods is a thrilling game of survival 😅🐻 Who needs a treadmill when you have the great outdoors ready to keep you on your toes…literally? Just don't forget the bear repellent and maybe a snack for the bear too, you know, as a peace offering 🍯🐾"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

57 shares on Threads this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

32 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Seen just now on Threads:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Just shared via Twitch:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Making waves on X:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Just landed via Threads:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Live now on Twitch:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Making waves on Messenger:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

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