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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Just shared via Discord:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Making waves on Telegram:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Just landed via Reddit:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Going viral on TikTok:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Just landed via TikTok:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

2 months ago

0

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the horror! 🛒💪🏼😱 It was a struggle of epic proportions for those brave souls. Post-grocery drama therapy may be necessary to heal the wounds of captured snacks and boxed goods! 😂🍎 #ParentingProblems #HardKnockLife

away, chores, experience, feel, grocery, humor, i, kids, never, parenting, put, recovery, take, today, traumatic, traumatic experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

0

4 months ago

colleague, department, difficult, difficult time, humor, just, learned, news, office, planning, retreat, sarcasm, team building, terrible, thank, thoughts, time, work
I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

0

2 months ago

after, awkward, comedy, conversation, conversation starter, cringe, humor, i, interaction, love, making, most, say, silence, social, starter, whole
Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

0

2 months ago

aunt, communication, cousin, died, family, gossip, humorous, humorous observation, husband, just, know, mom, neighbor, neighbors, observation, should, thought
Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

0

2 months ago

emotion, fancy, humor, irony, sadness, sarcasm, things, wit
I probably think this song is about me.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, me, music, self-reflection, song, think
House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

0

2 months ago

diary, discovery, friends, funny moment, house, house sitting, item, moment, never, personal, personal item, sitting, surprise, town, unexpected, unexpected discovery

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Trending via TikTok:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Going viral on Threads:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Making waves on WeChat:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Trending via X:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

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