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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Trending via Slack:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Live now on Instagram:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Going viral on Instagram:

I woke up alive again.

Going viral on Instagram:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Trending via Telegram:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the morning surprise concert featuring the one-hit wonder of your playlist! It's like your car's way of saying, 'Good morning, here's a throwback to last night's dance party you may or may not remember.' Time to start the day with a bang, whether you're ready for it or not!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

99 shares on Telegram this month:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

72 shares on X this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

30 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People should come with warning labels.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Trending via TikTok:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Freshly posted on Discord:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Just shared via YouTube:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Just landed via Messenger:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

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