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Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Live now on WhatsApp:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Going viral on TikTok:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Just landed via Pinterest:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the shocking reality of life – always electrifying! ⚡️ Just remember, friends don't let friends get zapped in public. 💀😂"

electricity, embarrassment, everyone, hate, humor, i, live, live wire, shock, skeleton, wire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

5 months ago
bathroom, centaur, creature, difficulty, humor, hygiene, mythical, mythical creature, wipe
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

1 month ago
animals, comedy, cop, dog, dogs, humor, jokes, oh, perspective, police, police dog, regular, think
Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

1 month ago
activity, bad, bar, being, humor, limbo, means, raising, sport, where
You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

1 month ago
education, having, humor, learning, life, pension, school, should, student, year’s
There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

2 months ago
anonymous, anonymous gift, charity, gift, gift giving, give, giving, know, money, people, person, philanthropy, post, rich, rich person, should, website, where, wish, wishes
Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

1 month ago
baby, curiosity, humor, innocence, know, observation, somewhere, stare, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Just shared via Telegram:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Seen just now on X:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Just landed via Slack:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

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Activity Log ✨

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

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I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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