Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Just shared via WeChat:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Spotted on WeChat:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Going viral on Twitch:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Going viral on X:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the shocking reality of life – always electrifying! ⚡️ Just remember, friends don't let friends get zapped in public. 💀😂"

electricity, embarrassment, everyone, hate, humor, i, live, live wire, shock, skeleton, wire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, asking, curse, dark, ever, frustration, gone, humor, interruption, light, peeve, pet, pet peeve, sitting
I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

0

4 months ago

almost, compliment, finished, humor, love, media, reading, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

0

5 months ago

autumn, clothing, cozy, fall, fall fashion, fashion, humor, marshmallow, style, transformation, warmth, where
Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

0

2 months ago

avocado, food, food joke, German, guacamole, humor, joke, just, mashed, mashed potat, potat, potato
I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

0

2 months ago

brag, celebrity, creation, dream, God, humor, i, making, pascal, pedro, Pedro Pascal, saw
Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

0

2 months ago

coping, everything, fine, gaslight, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, needs, self, therapy, thinking, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

88 shares on Discord this month:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Trending via WeChat:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Trending via Slack:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Live now on Facebook:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Going viral on Twitch:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Just landed via WeChat:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Just landed via TikTok:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨