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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Trending via Messenger:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Just shared via TikTok:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Trending via Snapchat:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Live now on Messenger:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the high stakes of pace! Better keep up or risk a dramatic demise a la Speed bus 🚌💨 Just imagine the epic soundtrack that must play in your head as you rush through life! 🎶⏱️ #NeedForSpeed"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Just landed via Messenger:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Shared recently on Threads:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Just shared via YouTube:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Trending via Reddit:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Live now on LinkedIn:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Just landed via Facebook:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Reported on Threads:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

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