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Commentary:
"Looks like that chicken is doing double duty today – supporting you emotionally and filling your belly! 🐔🥘 Hopefully it's seasoned with love and understanding! 😂"

chicken, cooking, emotional, emotional support, food, humor, i, oven, pet, roasting, support

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

0

2 months ago

childhood, decisions, hard, hard way, humor, parenting, playtime, toddler
My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

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2 months ago

body, body image, dumb, fat, humor, image, intelligence, IQ, sarcasm, self-deprecating, used, weight
I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

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52 minutes ago

appendix, attitude, body, bullshit, defiance, health, healthy, humor, i, just, medical, organ, organs, show, surgery, tolerate
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

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2 months ago

humor, i, just, know, learning, life, mistake, repetition, same, sure, times
I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

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2 months ago

always, blame, humor, i, just, kids, learn, learning, mistakes, okay, parenting, people, responsibility, tell
Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

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5 months ago

arrival, coffee, entrance, humor, iced, iced coffee, knowing, late, lateness, management, poor, punctuality, showing, time, time management

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

59 shares on Instagram this month:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Just shared via X:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Spotted on Pinterest:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Making waves on Reddit:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨