Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Making waves on Slack:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Trending via Threads:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Going viral on Messenger:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Breaking via X:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Shared recently on X:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

1 month ago

Witty quote about experiencing work and unemployment, humorously suggesting wealth as the solution.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "I have sampled the buffet of working life, from employment to joblessness, and let me tell you – the real feast is generational wealth! 🍔👑 Who needs a job when you can just sit back, relax, and let your ancestors' hard work do all the heavy lifting? 💼💰 #retirementgoals"

advice, employment, financial, financial advice, generational, generational wealth, guys, humor, i, joblessness, recommend, recommendation, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

89 shares on Facebook this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

89 shares on Facebook this month:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

37 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Trending via Facebook:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Making waves on YouTube:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Going viral on Telegram:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Trending via Messenger:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Going viral on Reddit:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

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