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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,884

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Spotted on Instagram:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Seen just now on Discord:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

2 months ago

0

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "I have sampled the buffet of working life, from employment to joblessness, and let me tell you – the real feast is generational wealth! 🍔👑 Who needs a job when you can just sit back, relax, and let your ancestors' hard work do all the heavy lifting? 💼💰 #retirementgoals"

advice, employment, financial, financial advice, generational, generational wealth, guys, humor, i, joblessness, recommend, recommendation, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

0

2 months ago

anti-stress, balls, breast, breasts, device, female, humor, irony, nature, stress
Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, bike, childhood, fun, fun activity, just, nostalgia, parent, parents, riding, young
No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

0

2 months ago

6th, annoying, being, communication, ever, humor, joke, language, love, love language, relationship
If you love someone, let them sleep.

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2 months ago

advice, affection, care, humor, let, love, relationship, sleep, someone
When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

0

2 months ago

confusion, culture, flower, hammer, Hammer time, humor, love, name, pop, pop culture, smell, stop, time
I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

0

2 months ago

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

33 shares on Threads this month:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,820

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Going viral on Instagram:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Body by sandwich.

Trending via Instagram:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Seen just now on YouTube:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

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