I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

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Time is precious, waste it wisely.

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Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

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Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

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Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

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Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

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The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

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Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

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The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

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Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

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You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.