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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Just shared via Facebook:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Spotted on Reddit:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Going viral on Messenger:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

2 months ago

0

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's relationship is feeling the burn… 🔥🤣 Seems like "fun to be around" could use a little makeover in the truth department! Who knew Tinder could be the ultimate expose tool! 😂 #RelationshipDrama #TinderTales

across, angry, around, came, dating, fun, humor, i, just, ly, profile, relationship, Tinder, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

0

2 months ago

cheese, culture, food, humor, photo, photography, reason, salad, smile
My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

0

5 months ago

animal, day, humor, laziness, nap, sleep, sloth, spirit, spirit animal
To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

0

2 months ago

30, 30-30, 30-30 rule, after, avoid, balance, burnout, disappear, escape, humor, job, minutes, mountain, quit, relief, retirement, rule, stress, stress relief, work, work life, work-life balance
Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

0

2 months ago

chalanting, definitely, dislike, else, flirting, girl, humor, nonchalant, rejection, relationship, somewhere
We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

0

2 months ago

around, clumsiness, embarrassment, funny moment, idiocy, idiots, jump, knickers, least, malfunction, moment, once, playful, room, t, wardrobe, wardrobe malfunction
Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

17 shares on Discord this month:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

29 shares on Discord this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

13 shares on Threads this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

40 shares on Threads this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Just shared via Instagram:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Spotted on TikTok:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Making waves on Messenger:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Just landed via Threads:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

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