I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.