Trendy Funny Quotes

  • *Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.
  • My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.
  • I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.
  • Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.
  • 30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!
  • Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.