Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.
  • Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.
  • The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.
  • Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.
  • If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.
  • Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.