Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?
  • Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.
  • I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.
  • Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
  • Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.
  • People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.