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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Trending via WeChat:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Going bananas on Slack:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Funny quote about clumsy mishaps involving a coffee table and a near injury.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just your typical case of a rebellious coffee table playing hide-and-seek with your toe! 🤦‍♂️☕️ Better watch out for those stealthy furniture maneuvers in the future! 😆"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

67 shares on Threads this month:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Just landed via YouTube:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Spotted on WeChat:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Trending via X:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Trending via Twitch:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Just shared via Telegram:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Just shared via Twitch:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

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