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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,793

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Spotted on Twitch:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Just landed via Threads:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Just landed via Messenger:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Trending via Discord:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Making waves on Instagram:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

2 months ago

1

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of emotional eating meets forgetfulness! 🍔🤦‍♂️ Who needs therapy when there's a fridge full of comfort food, right? 🍕🙈 Just remember, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips! 🍦🍑 #FoodForThought

eat, food, forget, humor, i, memory, never

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

0

2 months ago

coffee, cup, drink, empty, empty cup, funny interaction, guy, humor, i, interaction, IT guy, Java, joke, me, programming, say, show, workplace, workplace humor
This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

0

2 months ago

blend, fun, having, life, losing, me, mind, perfect, time, year
Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

0

2 months ago

adult, aging, away, being, body, humor, just, life, location, means, migration, never, new, pain, reality
People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

0

4 months ago

afraid, behavior, emotion, fear, kind, kindness, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, social, social behavior
A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

0

1 month ago

gratitude, humor, keeping, me, quick, safety, shoutout, sidewalk, sidewalks, street, streets, thanks, walking
“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

0

2 months ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

33 shares on Discord this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

94 shares on Threads this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,968

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Dear music, thanks!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Going viral on WeChat:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Just landed via Instagram:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Just landed via X:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Making waves on Instagram:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Going viral on Threads:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

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