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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

48 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Trending via Snapchat:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Making waves on Twitch:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Trending via TikTok:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Making waves on Slack:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Seen just now on Discord:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Just landed via Instagram:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

6 months ago

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of emotional eating meets forgetfulness! 🍔🤦‍♂️ Who needs therapy when there's a fridge full of comfort food, right? 🍕🙈 Just remember, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips! 🍦🍑 #FoodForThought

eat, food, forget, humor, i, memory, never

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

48 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Live now on Threads:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Trending via Slack:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Spotted on WeChat:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Making waves on Discord:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Breaking via Instagram:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Live now on WeChat:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Spotted on Threads:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

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