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Commentary:
"Who knew a fitness tracker could be so demanding? 🐾 Better step up your game or prepare for a surprise mess in your living room! 💩 #FitnessFails"

apartment, barks, day, device, exercise, humor, i, me, motivation, poops, steps, taken, technology, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

2 months ago

am, company, food, General, humor, i, pizza, preference, relationship, solitude
What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

2 months ago

Covid, drunk, home, humor, i, learned, learning, lifestyle, productivity, remote, remote work, work
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

5 months ago

avoidance, cancel, coming, commitment, even, excuse, excuse phrase, flake, humor, never, no show, phrase, sarcasm, show
I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

2 months ago

devastating, everything, home, humor, husband, kitchen, memory, organization, rearranging, relationship, used, where
Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

2 months ago

1, away, call, country, home, laptop, left, ms, MS Teams, remote, remote work, say, second, Teams, technology, video, video call, work, work from home
These aliens are taking forever.

2 months ago

alien, aliens, forever, humor, patience, time, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

78 shares on X this month:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

53 shares on Discord this month:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Live now on LinkedIn:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Shared recently on Twitch:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Making waves on Twitch:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Seen just now on Slack:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

These aliens are taking forever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨