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Commentary:
Sounds like you may need a "Sushi" mattress instead! 🍣🛏️ Maybe next time go for a softer option to avoid feeling like you're sleeping on a tempura shrimp! 🍤😄 #CrunchyMattressProblems 🛌🚫

bed, crunchy, food, humor, i, joke, mattress, pun, sleep, Tempura, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

21 shares on X this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

33 shares on X this month:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Just landed via Instagram:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Just landed via Facebook:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Spotted on Slack:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Spotted on Threads:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Spotted on Telegram:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨