Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
Sounds like you may need a "Sushi" mattress instead! 🍣🛏️ Maybe next time go for a softer option to avoid feeling like you're sleeping on a tempura shrimp! 🍤😄 #CrunchyMattressProblems 🛌🚫

bed, crunchy, food, humor, i, joke, mattress, pun, sleep, Tempura, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

0

5 months ago

add, ever, every, flag, humor, i, iPod, just, liked, liked song, music, playlist, playlists, red, red flag, shuffle, song, songs, Spotify
I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

0

3 weeks ago

ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep
Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

0

4 months ago

apathy, candy, Christmas, Christmas tree, coping, coping mechanism, decoration, eating, Halloween, Halloween candy, holiday, holiday season, humor, matters, mechanism, nothing, procrastination, putting, season, tree
When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

0

2 months ago

advice, answer, call, calls, forward, humor, life, new, nothing, past, tell
What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, missing, relaxation, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, wish
That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, feel, feel good, feeling, good, humor, i, me, motivation, positive, positive feeling, self-improvement, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Twitch this month:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

67 shares on Slack this month:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Going viral on YouTube:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Live now on Messenger:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Just landed via Instagram:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Making waves on Messenger:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Just landed via Threads:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨