I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.