Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Making waves on Snapchat:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Spotted on Telegram:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Trending via Threads:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

2 months ago

0

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having the talent to masterfully navigate through a minefield of words… only to step on the biggest verbal landmine. Truly, the gift that keeps on giving! 🙊💥😂"

carefully, communication, gift, going, humor, i, irony, manage, say, still, thing, think, think carefully, truly, wrong, wrong thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

0

2 months ago

4, family, family photo, humor, kids, mine, oil, oil painting, painting, paintings, parenting, photo, pose, seconds, sit, sit still, still
The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

0

2 months ago

creativity, culture, Eminem, fan, fans, humor, i, joke, language, music, obsession, parody, pop, pop culture, saying, song, word, wordplay
Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

0

2 months ago

busy, choices, dream, going, i, ignore, life, lot, priorities, right, stress, symbolic
You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

0

2 months ago

accidents, couple, curbs, drive, driving, frustration, hit, humor, perspective, take, trash, trash can
There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

0

2 months ago

action, advice, humor, life, life advice, mistake, never, opportunity, perfect, perfection, time
I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

0

2 months ago

annoy, difficult, expectations, getting, humor, i, man, me, nerf, relationship, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

27 shares on X this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

88 shares on Discord this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

67 shares on X this month:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,077

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Making waves on Discord:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Just shared via Threads:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Trending via Threads:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Freshly posted on WeChat:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴