Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.
  • Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.
  • Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?
  • Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
  • My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.
  • If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.