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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's emotional plumbing needs a good flush! 💩 Maybe it's time for some emotional fiber to get things moving again! 😂"

constipation, emotion, feeling, humor, i, month, shit, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

0

2 months ago

British, confusion, culture, currency, halfpenny, hell, humor, i, posts, squids, stand, talking, timeline
This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

0

2 months ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year
Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

0

2 months ago

chomsky, crazy, crazy name, humor, hungry, name, noam, Noam Chomsky, sound
That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

0

2 months ago

anger, awkward, awkward moment, click, frustration, humor, moment, pen, situation, social, social situation, someone, time
The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

0

2 months ago

best, break, coffee, coffee machine, daily, daily routine, drive, home, humor, machine, office, routine, thing, work
Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

0

2 months ago

apartment, hell, Shazam, upstairs, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Sane is boring.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

99 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Just shared via X:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Spotted on Slack:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Spotted on Facebook:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Spotted on Reddit:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on Telegram:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨