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Commentary:
👮‍♂️👟 "I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers…because catching criminals is a marathon, not a sprint! 🚨👟💨" #FashionPolice #SolePatrol

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

0

2 months ago

ever, hot, i, me, means, missing, news, pictures, put, skinny
All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

0

2 months ago

big, burger, fast, fast food, food, height, humor, opinion, restaurant, saying, should, taller, width
Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

0

3 months ago

actually, entertainment, hear, humor, increase, keep, me, movie, price, price increase, prices, service, streaming, streaming service, subscription, want, watch
People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

0

2 months ago

aubergine, bin, fact, food, fridge, humor, mistake, people, should
Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, égalité, humor, liberté, play, play on words, second, words
The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

0

3 months ago

date, dating, driving, funny situation, humor, me, parallel, parallel park, park, relationship, second, second date, situation, stress, stroke, trying, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on TikTok this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Going viral on X:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨