Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🤣 Sounds like your bathroom is hosting a secret toothpaste Olympics! 🦷💥 Who needs a toothbrush when you've got toothpaste cannons in the house? Watch out for those little toothpaste snipers! 🔫😆 #KidsWillBeKids

bathroom, cannon, clean, cleaning, humor, i, kids, mess, parenting, shoot, sure, toothpaste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Slack this month:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

18 shares on X this month:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

10 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Live now on Facebook:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Freshly posted on X:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Live now on Reddit:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Going viral on X:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨