Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.
  • I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.
  • Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’
  • I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.
  • We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.
  • If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.