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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

46 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Going viral on Reddit:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Just landed via Telegram:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Just landed via Instagram:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Jan 21, 2025

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma of pondering the true purpose of music – whether it's for soothing the soul or fueling those epic gym workouts 🎸💪! Perhaps Van Halen's music was just the secret sauce for summoning inner strength and hitting that next rep like a rockstar! 🤘🎶 #RockYourWeights

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

46 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Just shared via WeChat:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Going viral on Threads:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Trending via WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Going viral on Reddit:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Seen just now on Twitch:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Trending via Threads:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Making waves on Instagram:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Making waves on Telegram:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

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