Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,258

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Spotted on Twitch:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Going viral on WeChat:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Spotted on Discord:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

2 months ago

0

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma of pondering the true purpose of music – whether it's for soothing the soul or fueling those epic gym workouts 🎸💪! Perhaps Van Halen's music was just the secret sauce for summoning inner strength and hitting that next rep like a rockstar! 🤘🎶 #RockYourWeights

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

0

2 months ago

diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying moment, autocorrect, communication, conversation, humor, moment, someone, technology, texting
There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

0

1 week ago

decision, life, living, meaninglessness, opposite, own, rescue, someone, start, suicide, where
Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

0

2 months ago

cremation, death, death joke, humor, joke, just, pun, urn, wordplay
I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

0

2 months ago

break, death, fear, game, humor, i, never, streak, terrified, used, winning, Wordle, worry
I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

beer, drinking, fridge, humor, i, lot, need, night, only, party, room, tonight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on X this month:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Just shared via X:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Making waves on Threads:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Making waves on Facebook:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Just shared via Telegram:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Going viral on X:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Going viral on Reddit:

A selfie only a mother could like.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴