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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Going viral on X:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Trending via Pinterest:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Going viral on Discord:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me waiting for patience to kick in like 🕒⏳… Oh, the irony! 🤷‍♂️😂"

frustration, humor, i, irony, patience, patient, take, time, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

0

2 months ago

30, beer, drink, drinking, drunk, enjoy, fun, humor, i, just, light, light beer, moderation, party, peeing, relaxation, times, today
What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

0

2 months ago

baby, before, hands, hold, humor, multitasking, nostalgia, parenting, parents, phone, phones, smart, smart phone, something, technology
Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

0

2 months ago

casino, decision making, five, gambling, humor, intuition, luck, odds, right, statistics, three, times
You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, buying, check, day, good, good day, having, house, humor, reality, reality check, someone
Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

0

2 months ago

advice, cheese, food, Germany, humor, käse, people, pun, sausage, scenario, stock, wurst, Wurst Käse
“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

0

2 months ago

advice, cream, dinner, freedom, fun, ice, ice cream, indulgence, nobody, self, stop, tell, younger, younger self

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

17 shares on Slack this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

66 shares on WeChat this month:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

94 shares on X this month:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Just landed via Discord:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Spotted on Facebook:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨