Trendy Funny Quotes

  • How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.
  • I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.
  • I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.
  • I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.
  • I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.
  • My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.