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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Trending via Threads:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Going viral on X:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Making waves on Instagram:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Making waves on Threads:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Just landed via Slack:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Going viral on Messenger:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Spotted on Discord:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

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I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.
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Commentary:
Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like we might be stuck between a rock and a hard place! 🤣 It's like choosing between a lukewarm tea and a slightly spoiled milkshake – neither is winning any awards for being enticing, that's for sure! 🙅‍♂️ Always remember, when faced with the lesser of two evils, maybe it's time to start thinking outside the box and look for the greater good! 🌟

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

23 shares on Slack this month:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Spotted on Discord:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Live now on Twitch:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Going viral on Slack:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Breaking via Threads:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Seen just now on Twitch:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Making waves on Instagram:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Spotted on WeChat:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

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