If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

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Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.