If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Missing person requests to only feature 'skinny and hot' photos in case of disappearance. Because, let's face it, a fabulous outfit can solve any mystery! 🕵️‍♂️🔍💃 #FashionableSearchPartyRequired"