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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Just shared via TikTok:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Shared recently on Threads:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Trending via Twitch:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Going viral on Threads:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

2 months ago

0

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the never-ending saga of typos and autocorrect fails on social media! 🙈🔤 It's like a spelling bee nightmare come to life. Maybe we should start awarding virtual trophies for the most creative misspellings! 🏆😂 Remember, grammar police – proceed with caution on the wild, wacky world of Facebook! 🚨📲 #SpellingBeeFails #TypoTerrors

bee, education, Facebook, grammar, humor, lesson, media, people, ready, social, social media, spelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

0

2 months ago

asexual, companionship, found, friend, humor, irony, just, me, only, relationship, using
You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

0

2 months ago

am, confidence, dating, DM, DMs, flirting, funnier, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media
Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

0

5 months ago

adulting, health, humor, life, mental, mental health, mystery, self-care, session, therapy, time
I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, joke, just, leg, masseuse, playfulness, puns, sarcasm
The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, domestic, domestic life, existence, feral, housewife, humor, i, life, term
Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

0

2 months ago

consistency, ending, humor, key, relationship, self-reflection, single, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Slack this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

48 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

88 shares on X this month:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

85 shares on Telegram this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your opinions are not my business.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,699

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Live now on Messenger:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Trending via Discord:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Just shared via X:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Making waves on Slack:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Going viral on Messenger:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

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