Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.
  • Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.
  • If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.
  • The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.
  • If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”
  • If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.