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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Making waves on Messenger:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Going viral on Messenger:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Just landed via X:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Spotted on Threads:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

0
If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, technically, you would probably just attract a lot of metal objects… and maybe some confused looks! 💁‍♂️🧲 Just remember, being magnetic in personality is way more appealing than being magnetic in taste! 😉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

34 shares on Slack this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

59 shares on Threads this month:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Going viral on Messenger:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Just shared via X:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

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