Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

2 hours ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Spotted on Discord:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Broadcasted on Slack:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Making waves on X:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Making waves on WeChat:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Going viral on Threads:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Just shared via WeChat:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Going viral on X:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Going viral on Facebook:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Trending via Telegram:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

6 months ago

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the legendary creature known for its incredible ability to express exasperation with just one eye open! 🙄 It’s a rare sight to behold, the majestic Sighclops wandering through the realms of boredom and indifference. A true icon of mythological sighing power! 😂🧛‍♂️ #SighGoals

creature, fantasy, humor, i, ID, imagination, joke, mythical, mythical creature, Sighclops, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

2 hours ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Shared recently on X:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Just landed via YouTube:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Live now on Facebook:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Seen just now on Messenger:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

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