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"Remember, if you're feeling more electric than them, you may want to rethink your taser technique ⚡😄 Give those zaps responsibly, folks!"

electric, holding, humor, hurt, hurts, joke, pain, self-defense, taser, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

0

4 months ago

3, afternoon, cook, day, dinner, grandma, humor, i, old fashioned, relaxation, rest, sit, used, why
Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

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2 months ago

everyday, hell, humor, i, ID, Satan, tell, work
I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

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2 months ago

history, human, human nature, humor, i, irony, nature, people, repeat, repetition, stupid, stupidity, why
It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

0

2 months ago

exercise, gym, humor, i, mishap, store, today, unexpected, walking, wind, wine
I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

0

2 months ago

aging, browser, browser tab, computer, humor, i, internet, meme, older, open, procrastination, tab, tabs, technology
People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

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2 months ago

always, car, driver, home, humor, i, love, me, people, sit, talk, Uber, waiting, whenever, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

33 shares on X this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Spotted on TikTok:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Freshly posted on Slack:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Spotted on TikTok:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Just shared via TikTok:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Spotted on WeChat:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨